Caring for the Long Haul: How to Stay Healthy and Balanced as a Long-Term Caregiver

By Julie HayesNovember 14, 2025

Many caregivers begin their role late in their loved one’s life, and while the journey may be exhausting, the time they spend providing intensive care may be relatively short. However, many other caregivers supporting loved ones through conditions such as Parkinson’s, early onset dementia, MS or early-stage kidney disease may find themselves providing years or even decades of support.

Long-term caregiving is often an act of deep love, but it is also one of the strongest predictors of stress, burnout and social isolation if caregivers don’t receive the support they need. When a loved one has a long life expectancy but rising care needs, caregivers face a unique challenge: how do you sustain care without sacrificing your own health, identity and future?

The Hidden Toll of Long-Term Caregiving

While most people stepping into a caregiving role are aware that they’re in for a time of high stress and emotions, it’s hard to fully grasp the extent of the struggle until you’ve lived it. You may understand that you will be involved in certain tasks, but the toll these tasks might cost you in the long run may not be evident when you’re first getting started. For example:

  • The Tasks: Medication management, coordination with specialists, safety monitoring, appointment scheduling, transportation
    The Toll: The stress of staying on top of all these considerations may seep into your work life and sleep time, and the anxiety of making a mistake or dropping the ball may never fully go away
  • The Task: Prioritizing being there for your loved one when they need you
    The Toll: Deprioritizing other people and things, potentially straining relationships and losing connections to what matters to you
  • The Task: Providing emotional support during your loved one’s struggles
    The Toll: Bottling up your own emotions to the point where you may begin to resent your loved one, and then feel guilty over this resentment

Instead of crashing all at once, long-term caregivers often erode slowly, normalizing fatigue, resentment or depression as “just how it is.” Many caregivers don’t recognize burnout until it is extreme because they are used to pushing through.

Signs You May Be Approaching Caregiver Burnout

You may be in need of more support if you often feel:

  • Constant fatigue, even after sleeping
  • Irritability, guilt, or resentment toward the person you care for
  • Difficulty concentrating or making decisions
  • Loss of interest in social activities, hobbies or self-care
  • Declining physical health (illnesses, headaches, high blood pressure, etc.)
  • Feeling like “there is no way out” or “I can’t keep doing this”

If you see yourself in two or more of these signs, it’s not a personal failure. It’s a signal that your situation needs to change. That can be easier said than done, especially if your loved one has no one else to rely on but you, but unsustainable caregiving situations can actually harm your loved one just as much they harm you. For the sake of everyone involved, it’s important to build a solution that can be healthily maintained by both sides of the equation.

How to Protect Your Well-Being While Providing Long-Term Care

1. Build a care team
Even if you are the primary caregiver, you should never be the only caregiver. Create a list of people and services who can share the load, and don’t be ashamed to reach out to them. If you’re concerned about the cost, connect with your local Area Agency on Aging and if there are any free or low-cost options in your area.

2. Keep parts of your life that belong only to you
A long-term caregiver is still a whole person with goals, friendships and interests. Schedule non-care activities just like appointments and honor them the way you would a visit to the doctor. If your caregiver stress is leaking into things you enjoy, consider ways to adapt them to better hold your focus. For example, it may be easier to stay immersed in a film at the theater rather than on your TV at home, and so on.

3. Treat self-care as a survival need, not a luxury
Good nutrition, sleep, medical care and physical activity are essential for caregivers. If you collapse, your loved one’s support system collapses with you. If stress is getting in the way of sleep and mealtimes, talk to your doctor about steps you can take to manage your mental wellbeing.

4. Talk openly with your loved one about the future
Even if they resist, discussing alternative care options early prevents crisis decisions later. Frame the conversation around their safety and your ability to stay healthy enough to remain involved. Avoid getting locked into “The Promise” (“I promise to never send you to a care facility”)—you never know if your loved one’s health will ever reach the point where it is beyond your ability to handle as a non-medical professional.

How to Know When It May Be Time to Consider a Care Facility

Many caregivers wait until they are emotionally and physically depleted before exploring nursing homes, assisted living or memory care. Instead, look for the following indicators:

  • Your loved one needs 24-hour supervision for safety
  • Their mobility or cognitive decline makes home care unsafe
  • You are missing work, medical appointments or becoming ill from stress
  • The care relationship is damaging the emotional bond between you and your loved one
  • Professionals working with you and your loved one recommend facility-based care

Caregivers face immense pressure to “do it all,” and long-term caregivers have a long road to carry that weight down—it would be hard to make it out without feeling crushed by the end. If you are struggling, reach out for respite, for counseling, for peer support, for care navigation help. Caring for someone else starts with caring for you.