Babysitting as Grandparents

Becoming a grandparent is often one of life’s most rewarding moments. But these days, the role of a grandparent is much more hands-on and complex than it was in the past. Depending on their work and relationship statuses, working parents may ask their own parents to serve as a part-time or full-time babysitter for grandchildren. According to the U.S. Census Bureau, the instances of grandparents providing childcare to grandchildren have doubled over the past few decades from what they were in the 1970s. The expense of childcare facilities, increasing hours of parents’ full-time work obligations and amount of single-parent households have all contributed to this change.

If asked to take on a childcare role with grandchildren, grandparents may begin to feel worried and stressed about these new responsibilities. But while many areas of childcare may have changed from the past, many areas have remained the same over time. With some conversation and ground rules set, the babysitting experience can be rewarding for grandparents, and a godsend for working parents.

If you are a grandparent and considering taking on this role, you should have a conversation with your children about expectations. Your time and expertise is valuable, so you should make it clear to your children that they need to be respectful of your availability and not take advantage of your time. You should also encourage them to be clear about how they like to do things so you can reach a better understanding of what is important to them.

Here are some conversation starters for discussions on your role as a babysitter:

Your Time

Your time is yours to give, so be sure to set limits and make sure that your children understand your schedule so that they can avoid surprising you with last minute or badly timed babysitting requests. Also, consider which times you will be unable serve as a babysitter, and be honest about any conflicts that you may have in your schedule.

Their Rules

Raising children is like riding a bicycle; you never really forget how to do it. However, this bicycle has many gears and bells and whistles you may not have seen before. Many times, your opinions on how to take care of children may differ from your child’s way of doing things, and this can create conflict between the two of you. It is important for you to respect that your child is now a parent, and adhere to their rules when it comes to watching their children.

Some aspects of raising children may be different from how you remember. For example, it is now advised that babies be put to sleep on their backs instead of their stomachs to prevent sudden infant death syndrome (SIDS). According to the American Academy of Pediatrics, blankets and stuffed animals should also be removed from cribs to prevent SIDS, though light blankets and small security items can be reintroduced once a baby is over a year old. The use of car seats has also become a law. Make sure you have a car seat available for use and have it properly installed in your vehicle.

Your Health

Babysitting children is not the same at age 67 as it is at 37. You may get tired more easily. It may be harder to lift and carry children, or keep a steady grip on a slippery baby in the bath. It may be necessary to ask yourself honestly if you are able to take on these tasks. Talk to your children about these expectations as well, and be honest with them about your capabilities. It is acceptable to be clear that you have certain energy and pain thresholds that may hold you back. Let them know what you can do and are comfortable doing.

Your Role

You should also consider being specific about your own terms for your role as babysitter. If your children ask for additional household jobs to be done, be sure that this is something you are willing to accept as part of this experience. You do not necessarily have to serve as the cook, laundry maid or butler if you do not feel comfortable doing so. If you are willing to do those jobs and get paid for them, arrange a financial outcome for your services. Your time is valuable, so be honest with your children about how you are willing to spend it.

Your Preparation

In addition to brushing up on the latest trends in babysitting and parenting, you may need to make some changes to your home if you will be babysitting your grandchild there. Medications and dangerous chemicals need to be put away and locked up. If you live in a two-story house, or have a basement, you may perhaps need a special gate to keep toddlers from going down the stairs. Make sure you have all small items like marbles put away to keep children from swallowing them.

Your Reward

Babysitting your grandchildren is a great way to get to know them and learn more about their worlds, and time spent with them can truly be a gift. It is also an opportunity for you to stay active and involved, which you shouldn’t take for granted. When discussing your role with your children, consider incorporating activities that increase your activeness and community engagement, while contributing to your grandchild’s activeness and growth as well.

A version of this article appeared in the Private Health News