Protecting Your Finances from Romance Scams

Whether through social media, dating websites or even a simple text message from a stranger, many older adults are finding companionship online. These platforms can be a wonderful way to meet people, but they have unfortunately also become a hunting ground for criminals.

Romance scams are one of the fastest-growing forms of fraud targeting older adults. These scams are not simply financial crimes. They can leave lasting emotional wounds, affecting confidence, trust and mental health long after the money is gone. Understanding how these scams work can help older adults and their families stay safe.

What Is a Romance Scam?

A romance scam happens when a criminal pretends to form a loving or close personal relationship with someone for the purpose of stealing money or personal information.

The scammer may contact a person through:

Dating websites or apps
Social media platforms
Text messages or email
Online chatrooms

The scammer usually starts with affectionate messages, then begins to make promises about the future and create a sense of deep emotional connection as the relationship builds. Eventually, they ask for money. Many times, they begin with small amounts and gradually work their way up. In some cases, however, they request a large amount all at once, such as money for plane tickets or assistance with hospital bills.

Common Romance Scam Stories

Scammers are skilled at creating believable situations. Some common examples include:

A new online love interest claims to live out of state or overseas. They want to visit but need money for travel expenses.
The person says they have become seriously ill or injured and need help paying for treatment.
The scammer encourages the victim to invest in cryptocurrency or another financial opportunity that promises large returns.
The person claims they have been robbed, arrested or stranded and have no one else to turn to.

In each case, the goal is the same: to build trust first and then use that trust to obtain money.

Why Are Older Adults Often Targeted?

Contrary to popular belief, victims of scammers are not always careless or uninformed. Scammers succeed because they are professional manipulators who spend their days learning how to exploit human emotions.

According to a presentation by Benjamin Rose’s Behavioral Health Services team, several factors can increase a person’s vulnerability, including:

Loneliness or a desire for companionship
Feeling isolated or unseen
Changes in physical health or mobility
Cognitive changes that may affect decision-making
A trusting nature
Major life transitions, such as the loss of a spouse or retirement

Many romance scammers communicate with multiple victims at the same time and devote significant time and effort to building false relationships.

The Emotional Cost of Romance Scams

The financial losses from a romance scam can be devastating, but the emotional impact can be just as serious. Many victims experience:

Shame, embarrassment and/or guilt
Depression and anxiety
Grief over the loss of what felt like a real relationship
Difficulty trusting themselves or others
Trouble sleeping or recurring nightmares

Some people become afraid to tell family members or law enforcement because they worry they will be judged. Unfortunately, that silence can make recovery even harder.

If It Happens to You

If you discover that an online relationship was a scam, it is natural to feel hurt, angry or embarrassed. It is also important to remember that these criminals are experts at emotional manipulation. They study human behavior. They know how to create urgency, build trust and make people feel special. They often spend months developing a relationship before asking for money.

Being deceived does not mean you are unintelligent. It means someone deliberately worked to earn your trust and abuse it. Romance scams affect people from all walks of life, regardless of age, education or financial background.

Healing begins when people replace self-blame with self-compassion and recognize that the responsibility belongs to the criminal who committed the fraud.

Tips to Help Protect Yourself

While no prevention strategy is perfect, a few habits can reduce the risk of becoming a victim:

Take your time: Scammers often try to create a sense of urgency or intense emotional attachment very quickly. Healthy relationships develop over time.
Be cautious about requests for money: Never send money, gift cards, cryptocurrency or banking information to someone you have not met and verified in person.
Verify their identity: Be skeptical of excuses for why someone cannot meet face-to-face or participate in a video call.
Talk to someone you trust: If a new online relationship becomes serious, discuss it with a family member, friend or trusted professional. An outside perspective can help identify warning signs.
Second guess the fairytale: If something feels unusual or too good to be true, it deserves a second look.

Getting Support

After a romance scam, people often focus on replacing lost money. But emotional healing is just as important. Victims may need time to process feelings of grief, betrayal and loss. Family members may also struggle with anger, confusion or sadness after learning what happened.

Counseling and support can help individuals rebuild confidence and work through the emotional effects of the experience. If you live in Cuyahoga County, Behavioral Health Services at Benjamin Rose Aging offers counseling and support for people dealing with emotional distress related to fraud, trauma and other life challenges.